With inhabitants like these "hot" Paris pretenders, its no wonder Key West was nominated the Sexiest Place on Earth.

It’s been a busy couple of weeks, both for me and here on the island. Among other things, I traveled to Miami Beach and exhibited at the National LGBT Bar Association’s Lavender Law Conference. This was a huge event with practicing attorneys and recent graduates learning how to better serve the legal needs of our community. Several came to the Keys after the conference.

Then I zipped across the country for the 20th conference of the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association, joining several hundred members of the media from across North America. I learned about issues facing the LGBT print media, websites, blogging, and workplace rights. It humbles me to know that we live in such an accepting community; many gays do not have this level of comfort.

Speaking of comfort, Womenfest kicked off last night with a packed house at Big Ruby’s Guesthouse. Lenore Troia, renowned for entertaining LGBT and allied audiences with her American Caribbean sound, assembled a women’s five-member band. We indulged in three hours of fun jamming with these talented ladies while enjoying food samples from more than a dozen Key West restaurants. Women (and men) attended from across the U.S., the United Kingdom and Germany.

Sun, fun and a sizzling entertainment roster can only mean one thing: Womenfest in Key West!

This year’s Womenfest schedule is loaded with top entertainers including Emily Saliers of the Grammy-winning Indigo Girls, the rockers of Sister Funk, and singer/songwriter Christine Martucci. And do not miss the evening of comedy with Suzanne Westenhoefer at the historic San Carlos Institute.

Check the Womenfest website for a complete schedule. If you can’t be here this year, next year’s event will start the day after Labor Day. (The real treat is that the guys can attend most of the performances. We are truly One Human Family!)

This time of year, we try to take to the water for snorkeling and sunset sailing. The colors of the sea drift between lapis and emerald and the water is clear as gin. The Blu Q offers day trips for the guys while Venus Charters caters to the lesbian community with snorkeling, fishing, and dolphin watching. Sebago hosts a women-only sunset sail on Thursday afternoons and all-adventure days that include jet skiing and parasailing.

If you’re not into the water, stop by the gay-owned Fast Buck Freddie’s on Duval Street and lose yourself in their maze of great gifts, clothes, and toys.

Key West doesn't "clown around" when it comes to producing its flamboyant annual festival and its spectacular grand parade. (Photo by Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)

We have now entered the jam-packed season leading to the crowning of the king and queen of the Fantasy Fest masking and costuming gala. The “royals” earn their crowns by raising needed money for AIDS Help, our community-based AIDS service organization, and there are events almost every day and evening. Recent years’ royal campaigns have raised as much as $400,000. Photos of the candidates and a list of events are available here.

There are still some rooms available for Fantasy Fest 2010, themed Habitat for Insanity. Check your calendar and treat yourself to a Key West escape during this outrageous weeklong party that starts October 22.

Can’t make it this year? Plan on attending next year’s event. The lavish Fantasy Fest parade is always held on the last Saturday of October, so calculate your timeframe from that.

Shortly I’ll be off to visit pride events in Saint Augustine, Fla., Charlotte, N.C., and Atlanta. Then I may take a much-needed vacation!

(Steve’s current American Airlines mileage ticker: 2,497,241 miles promoting Key West to the LGBT world. Divided by 450 miles per hour average, that means 5,549.4 hours in a can at 30,000 feet!)

For example, at the recent “Anything That Floats” regatta, even boats that looked about as seaworthy as cottage cheese stayed afloat in the nurturing Key Largo waters while their intrepid crews completed the course.

These party animals paddled to victory in Key Largo's recent "Anything That Floats" race. (Photo by Bob Care/Florida Keys News Bureau)

Granted, several teams got “that sinking feeling” and anticipated saltwater baths when their craft began to crumble. But that’s hardly surprising — after all, the precarious vessels were cobbled together from materials like lawn furniture, pool noodles, PVC and duct tape.

No, the surprise was that they all somehow held together and made it to the finish line, with more than 700 spectators cheering so hard you’d think they were watching A-Rod hit his 600th homer.

Among the oddly sturdy entries was a vessel built from a converted kiddie pool and empty plastic gas cans. Its mast topped with a tipsy-looking “macaw” holding a margarita glass, the so-called boat actually won the half-mile regatta. This makes sense only when you realize that one of its competitors was composed primarily of a plastic shelving unit.

While these boats stayed afloat against all odds, the best-known vessel associated with Key Largo was intended to sink. In 2002 the Spiegel Grove, a 510-foot retired Navy ship, was poised to become the largest ship ever intentionally sunk to create an artificial reef for divers.

Shortly before its planned scuttling, the Spiegel Grove sank prematurely and rolled over. (Photo by Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)

On May 17, 2002, at the site of its planned scuttling off Key Largo (and just hours before the event), the Spiegel Grove unexpectedly sank on its own and flipped over. Crowds of supporters reacted in stunned disbelief.

It wound up on its starboard side in 130 feet of water. And though the sinking went badly wrong, shortly afterward the ship began to attract marine life — large groupers, busy schools of smaller fish, vivid-hued tropicals and more.

For the next three years divers flocked to explore the vessel, not realizing that it (and Key Largo) still had a major surprise in store for them.

In 2005, after Hurricane Dennis skirted the Florida Keys, diver Bob Snyder headed for the ocean floor to check on the Spiegel Grove. What he found was so bizarre that he wondered if he might be suffering from nitrogen narcosis, a condition that makes divers feel giddy or intoxicated.

Shifted upright by nature, the Spiegel Grove (bow shown here) draws dive aficionados from all over the world.

No longer resting on its side, the Spiegel Grove was standing upright on the ocean floor.

Wave action from the passing storm had shifted the vessel into the picture-perfect position originally intended by the sink team. In the deep waters off Key Largo, nature had accomplished what man couldn’t — and today the Spiegel Grove is a “must-dive” site for underwater aficionados from all over the world.

So why does Key Largo have such an unusual effect on boats? Nobody seems to know, but it’s even drawn such venerable vessels as the riverboat from the classic 1951 film “The African Queen.” Navigated on screen by Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn, the “Queen” has spent its twilight years sheltered beside a Key Largo hotel.

Historic Fort Jefferson and Dry Tortugas National Park, lying nearly 70 miles west of Key West, draw visitors eager to snorkel and swim in the cool, clear surrounding waters. (Photo by Rob O'Neal)

I answered so many questions about the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. Many people thought that, if oil had hit anywhere in Florida, it was here in the Keys — but it has not had any physical impact on the state except in the far northwestern Panhandle region, which is hundreds of miles from our clear Keys waters. We are truly blessed that we’ve been out of harm’s way.

Back in Key West, the recent Bone Island Bare It All Weekend was a great event for our naturist men friends. The pool parties were jammed tight, the Equator’s toga party would have made Rome blush, and adult film stars performed with drag queens — it was a sight to see. Bone Island Weekend’s naked shoppers left with bags of clothing (I guess they can’t be naked all the time!).

Pool parties are a prime attraction at Key West's sizzling annual Tropical Heat festivities.

This event will be staged again the first weekend in December, so pack your bags (or your small carry-on, ‘cause you don’t need a wardrobe for this party).

Tropical Heat always takes place on the third weekend of August, and this year it was over the top. (Make your plans for next year soon, since the gay properties are generally packed.) This year’s Tropical Heat kicked off at the Island House with an all-male party featuring adult entertainers, an open bar and food.

Other events included a midnight skinny-dipping pool party at the Bourbon Street Pub Garden Bar with a live DJ, and daytime pool parties at Big Ruby’s, Alexander’s and the Island House. Next year’s event will be even bigger.

Keys fishermen harvest large numbers of lobsters, some of them startlingly big, from local waters. (Photo by Steve Panariello/Florida Keys News Bureau)

It’s been busy on our weekends here with block street parties, nighttime ghost tours, snorkel trips, and a full moon just before “mini lobster season” in late July.  We have eaten our fill of fresh locally caught lobster … fruits of the sea!  I prefer the Keys’ yellowtail snapper myself, but gee, I won’t turn down a couple of lobster tails.

Speaking of tails, Womenfest starts the day after Labor Day. Great entertainment includes pool parties, snorkeling and dolphin watching, jet skiing and island adventures. Among the headlining performers are Sister Funk, Emily Saliers from the Grammy-winning Indigo Girls, and comedienne Suzanne Westenhoefer.

After Womenfest comes Key West Bear Fest. Bears, cubs, otters, and fans will gather for a honey-filled weekend. Click here to find out about all the activities.

Womenfest headliners include singer/songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Emily Saliers of the popular Indigo Girls.

It’s time for me to take a break, so I’m heading to the National LGBT Bar Association’s annual “Lavender Law” Career Fair and Conference in Miami Beach. Then it’s off to San Francisco for the National Lesbian and Gay Journalist Association’s 20th annual conference. If you plan to be at either event, stop by my exhibit — I’d love to see you and say hi!

(Steve’s current American Airlines mileage ticker: 2,483,787 miles promoting Key West to the LGBT world. Divided by 450 miles an hour, that means 5,520 hours in a can at 30,000 feet!)

Is this Ernest Hemingway? Or is it Brian Gordon Sinclair? (Hint: the bearded writer pictured here never lived in Key West.)

Hemingway, who lived and wrote in Key West throughout the 1930s, wasn’t Brian’s first major subject. Years ago, while tracing his Irish roots, Brian became fascinated with Irish revolutionary leader Patrick Pearse. After developing a successful one-man play about Pearse and the Irish Easter uprising of 1916, he began seeking another all-absorbing character.

“I wanted to find someone else to play who had that heroic quality,” he said. “I fell in love with the idea of being someone bigger than life, and standing on stage conveying theories and ideas that I could believe in with all my heart and brain.”

When Brian picked up Hemingway’s “A Farewell to Arms,” the author’s passion, prose and philosophy captured his imagination.

Backed by a crowd of “Ernest” supporters, Brian presents Canada's Hemingway On Stage Award during a past Hemingway Days celebration.

He had visited Key West previously on vacation, but returned with a purpose: to immerse himself in Hemingway’s life and experiences. He discovered the island’s Hemingway Days festival commemorating Ernest, visited the author’s Whitehead Street home and met “Papa” Hemingway Look-Alike Contest veteran Bob Orlin.

“It was the festival itself that attracted me,” Brian said. “If I was going to create a play, what better place to go than a place where they had a Hemingway festival?”

During that visit, though he hadn’t begun writing the script, he booked a Key West theater for the following year.

He also stepped into Hemingway’s skin for the first time. With his black hair and moustache, Brian resembled the author during his Key West years — so Bob Orlin convinced him to enter a “young Hemingway” contest at a local bar. He promptly won, using the prize money to continue his travels and research.

Brian Gordon Sinclair, in the persona of Ernest Hemingway, is surrounded by friends at La Terazza in Cojimar, Cuba.

When he began writing the play, however, a problem arose.

“My intention was to do one three-act play and that would be it,” said Brian. “By the time I got to the end of World War I, I already had enough for one play.”

Ultimately, “Hemingway On Stage” grew into a six-part series — each play exploring a facet of Ernest’s life and career, and each taking Brian onstage to create an intimate portrait of the iconic author.

As well as giving audiences new insights into Hemingway, the plays have brought a surprising benefit to their creator.

“Working on Ernest, with Ernest, has absolutely revitalized my life,” Brian reported. “His life encompassed so many different things that it became an adventure for me.”

Brian's in-depth portrayal provides audiences new insights into Ernest's complex and often troubled character.

Brian’s research has taken him to London, Paris, Spain’s Civil War battlefields and bullfighting rings, Hemingway’s childhood home in Illinois and many other places. He continues to present his plays in Key West where, like Ernest, he has found friends and inspiration.

“Everybody in Key West has treated me with such open arms and respect and kindness that I consider myself an honorary citizen of the place,” he said.

This year, Brian will step outside his six-part series to present a storytelling evening titled “Hemingway’s Hot Havana.” Ticket sales will benefit the Key West Art & Historical Society and the Hemingway Look-Alike Society Scholarship Fund.

He hopes to debut the final play in his “Hemingway On Stage” series during Hemingway Days 2011 — but that doesn’t mean he’ll say farewell to the author.

“Spiritually, I have become a friend of Ernest Hemingway,” Brian said, “and Ernest and I will be friends forever.”

These strange "undersea creatures" were spotted in the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary during a past Underwater Music Festival. (Photos by Bill Keogh/Florida Keys News Bureau)

Unless, of course, it’s the second Saturday in July.

That’s the timeframe for the annual Lower Keys Underwater Music Festival, an engagingly weird event that draws as many as 600 divers and snorkelers to boogie to the beat of music beneath the waves.

Staged by a popular local radio station, the submerged songfest takes place at Looe Key Reef, an area of the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary about six miles south of Big Pine Key.

The station’s playlist — ocean- and water-focused ditties ranging from the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine” to humpback whale songs and the themes from “Gilligan’s Island” and “Titanic” — is broadcast to participating divers and snorkelers (and a whole lot of curious fish) on special speakers suspended beneath boats at the reef.

A few years back, divers and snorkelers at the Underwater Music Festival came across a patriotic parade -- on the ocean floor.

While you might think music would be distorted underwater, it’s actually surprisingly clear. Plus there’s an ethereal “surround sound” feeling that comes from the sound waves’ transmission through the water.

Adding to that ethereal quality are the bizarre reef denizens that can be spotted during the event. Unsuspecting divers and snorkelers at past festivals have encountered an underwater brass band complete with tuba, marchers in an ocean-floor patriotic parade, and the “Divas of the Deep” — a trio of female divers costumed as Ella Fish-gerald, Tuna Turner, and (wait for it) Britney Spearfish.

One memorable year even Elvis himself decided to take the plunge, though he wasn’t wearing blue suede fins at the time. Elvis impersonator Neil Goldberg, dressed in a white caped jumpsuit and flashy gold chains, “performed” underwater on a bright red guitar for a mesmerized crowd of “sea fans.”

“The fish seem to be Elvis fans — they’re ‘all shook up’,” The King quipped after resurfacing.

Elvis impersonator Neil Goldberg performs for "sea fans" at a recent Underwater Music Festival.

For the 2010 festival, scheduled July 10, rumor has it that “Alice in Waterland” and her fictional friends will be on hand. Organizers are staging an offbeat salute to the classic tale “Alice in Wonderland” and the 2010 film it inspired, with underwater appearances by divers costumed as Alice, the “Mad Haddock,” “Cheshire Catfish,” and other take-offs on the story’s memorable characters.

Goofy as it seems, this good time has a serious purpose: preserving the Florida Keys’ unique coral reef ecosystem. The musical broadcast incorporates diver awareness announcements by Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary officials, offering tips on how to enjoy the ocean while minimizing your impact on the reef and marine environment.

So if you’re a music “afishionado,” dive into the doings at the Lower Keys Underwater Music Festival. And even if you can’t come down and take the plunge, you can share the spirit — by “singing out” about reef preservation.

Key West landscape "artists" put finishing touches on a giant rainbow flag atop "Mount Trashmore." (Photo by Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)

But this was no ordinary rainbow flag. For one thing, it measured 125 feet by 60 feet and required 87 gallons of paint. For another, the landmark they painted it on was a dormant landfill nicknamed “Mount Trashmore” — the highest and most visible landmass in the Florida Keys.

Big as their flag is (and according to my trusty calculator, it measures 7,500 square feet), it’s far from the largest rainbow banner ever displayed in Key West.

That title goes to a flag created in 2003 — one so massive that it stretched the entire length of the island city’s 1.25-mile Duval Street, from the Gulf of Mexico to the Atlantic Ocean.

In addition to its startling length, the 2003 flag had another claim to fame. It was sewn in Key West by Gilbert Baker, a San Francisco artist who created the original rainbow flag in 1978, to commemorate the internationally recognized gay and lesbian symbol’s 25th birthday.

Gilbert Baker savors the moment as his 1.25-mile rainbow flag is unfurled down Key West's Duval Street. (Photo by Mike Hollar/Florida Keys News Bureau)

To construct the Key West flag, Gilbert (whose friends call him “the gay Betsy Ross”) spent three months on the island. He and a handful of dedicated helpers sewed approximately 17,600 linear yards of fabric — no easy feat, since that fabric weighed more than three tons!

Those of us who were lucky enough to witness the flag’s debut, the highlight of Key West’s PrideFest 2003, will treasure the memory for a very long time.

It took about 2,000 volunteers to unfurl the flag from one end of Duval Street to the other. The crowd that gathered to help and watch included gay and straight couples, people of widely varying colors and ages, families with children, and even people in wheelchairs.

Nancy Mathys of Key West couldn’t see the flag, but she was determined to be part of its unfurling. Holding her white cane, guided by a male companion, she stood in line with other volunteers waiting to carry Gilbert’s massive creation as it was pulled out of its support truck.

“I think it’s wonderful that so many people have come out,” Nancy said as she waited. “It’s a special day to be part of all this.”

Gilbert's flag stretches down Duval Street from the Gulf of Mexico to the Atlantic Ocean in a sea-to-sea proclamation of pride and diversity. (Photo by Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)

As well as honoring the rainbow flag’s birth, the Key West flag recreated Gilbert’s original eight-color design. Pink and turquoise, which couldn’t be reproduced commercially in 1978, were sewn into the mammoth banner along with the now-traditional red, orange, yellow, green, indigo and violet.

“I started crying when the father of the flag was speaking,” said Kelly Davis of Nashville as she watched volunteers carry the flag down Duval Street. “It’s touching how everybody’s just getting along in the community — this flag stands for everybody’s freedom.”

When the rainbow banner was completely unfurled, the crowd chanted “Gilbert, Gilbert” and “Key West, Key West” as Gilbert Baker dipped one end into the Gulf of Mexico. Meanwhile, Key West’s PrideFest organizers and community leaders dipped the other end into the Atlantic — making the flag a sea-to-sea representation of Key West’s pride and diversity.

“The rainbow flag is loved and cherished all over the world,” said Gilbert during the day’s celebrations. “It represents an idea of equality and justice for everyone.”

May that idea prevail as long as the flag is flown.

David Horan wields a large propane torch to brown the meringue of Key West's gargantuan Key lime pie as "Attila" (holding the microphone) supervises. (Photos by Rob O'Neal, Florida Keys News Bureau)

The pie, a gargantuan version of the Florida Keys’ signature dessert, was estimated to weigh approximately 450 pounds and serve 1,000 people. It was so big, in fact, that Key West Mayor Craig Cates and the pie’s creators had to use a blowtorch to brown the traditional meringue topping.

“It contains 360 eggs, the juice of 1,080 Key limes, 20 pounds of sugar, 20 pounds of pastry and 90 cans of sweetened condensed milk,” said Sandy Higgs, who has helped mastermind more than a few of the giant confections — and who, despite an easygoing attitude and ready sense of humor, refers to herself as “the Attila of the 7-foot Key lime pie.”

The colossal pie’s pastry crust was baked in four quarters in a pizza oven at the recently opened Bobalu’s on Southard Street (the only oven in Key West large enough for the task).

Key West Mayor Craig Cates takes his turn at the blowtorch to finish the pie's mouthwatering meringue.

“Baking a seven-foot Key lime pie is a little bit more challenging than baking a regular Key lime pie,” said Sandy with magnificent understatement.

Once the four sections were assembled, the massive crust was filled with a smooth-textured “pudding” containing the condensed milk, egg yolks and the juice of the tiny yellow Key lime.

The pie was then trucked down to Mallory Square, where Sandy and its other creators fired up the blowtorch.

“The meringue on the pie is the original recipe — it’s not whipped cream; it’s egg meringue,” she stressed. “’We were fortunate enough to have Mayor Craig Cates brown the meringue with the propane blowtorch.”

The creation of most Key lime pies, of course, doesn’t require such extreme preparation methods.

Key West City Commissioner Mark Rossi (left) and pie creator Bob Bernreuter slice up the mammoth Key lime pie for crowds in Mallory Square.

The famed pie is believed to have originated in Key West in the late 1800s. According to the owner of Key West’s Curry Mansion Inn, a woman named Aunt Sally — the cook for estate owner William Curry — made the first one. On the other hand, Key West historian Tom Hambright surmises that Aunt Sally likely perfected a delicacy that was the creation of area fishermen.

Today, some chefs use graham cracker crust and whipped-cream topping instead of pastry crust and meringue. There’s a quite a debate among Key lime culinarians about which is the “real” way to make the luscious dessert.

In any case, few people visit the Keys without sampling at least one slice of the tart, creamy treat — and on July 1, 2006, its significance was officially recognized.

That’s the day Key lime pie became the official pie of the State of Florida — the result of a vote by the state legislature and subsequent ratification by Florida’s then-governor, Jeb Bush.

As the legislature (and the recent pie-eating crowds in Mallory Square) discovered … how sweet it is.

In the Conch Republic, "drag racing" is not for the faint of heart -- or weak of ankle. (Photos by Rob O'Neal/Florida Keys News Bureau)

That’s because this rowdy race isn’t designed for high-octane dragsters, but for high-heeled drag stars — female impersonators strutting their stuff complete with big hair, pancake makeup, false eyelashes and elaborate gowns or mini-dresses. (According to race organizers, however, tiaras are optional.)

Each year, more than a dozen daring divas compete in the offbeat event, which is presented by Key West’s Bourbon Street Complex to benefit the Florida Keys’ nonprofit Helpline organization.

“Officials” in black-and-white dresses designed to resemble checkered flags direct the action, while contestants race down a portion of Duval Street, the island city’s aptly nicknamed “main drag.”

In past years, they’ve even had to navigate an obstacle course of tires and trundle unwieldy shopping carts past the crowd. That crowd, by the way, usually numbers several hundred people (and they can get downright fierce about championing their favorites).

Navigating the course along Duval Street can be pretty "tiring" -- particularly for racers in towering heels.

The lively lovelies, handicapped based on the height of their heels above the regulation minimum three inches, are judged on their speed. Judges are also influenced by style (such as it is) — and generally aren’t above accepting a bribe or two to benefit Helpline.

While the energetic entrants TRY to sprint down the course, footwear malfunctions can slow their pace to an uneven stagger. (Sandals and stilettos are carefully prepped for the event, but it’s a rare race that doesn’t include at least one crash.) And a broken heel, the ultimate tragedy, can end a contestant’s dreams of victory.

Past years’ “athletes” have included a Lady Godiva wannabe with towering patent-leather boots, a perfectly-coiffed Barbie Doll clone and a goddess-sized diva whose purple grass skirt didn’t quite match her magenta curls. My personal favorite was a 2009 entrant fetchingly attired in a flowing pink gown, filmy wedding veil and full beard.

Some lively lovelies wear sporting attire with their heels -- a smart choice given the course's peculiar challenges.

The drag challenge is part of Key West’s annual Conch Republic Independence Celebration that commemorates the Florida Keys’ 1982 secession from the United States — a symbolic action prompted by a U.S. Border Patrol checkpoint improperly erected at the head of the island chain.

The 10-day celebration also features a gaggle of other events showcasing the Keys’ independent and eccentric spirit.

Highlights include a sea battle with tall ships and weapons that range from water cannons to flying vegetables, the so-called world’s longest parade down Duval Street from the Atlantic Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico, and an open-air bed race billed as “the most fun you can have in bed with your clothes on.”

The 2010 Conch Republic Independence Celebration is set for April 16-25, with the drag race Saturday, April 17. If you’re in Key West at that time, “drag” yourself over to Duval Street and check out the action. Chances are you’ll have (ouch — wait for it) one “heel” of a good time.

Actually, a lot of celebrities have wintered on the subtropical island where daytime temps in January and February generally exceed 70 degrees.

New York artist Cameron Gainer settles the Loch Ness Monster into its winter home in a Key West pond at the beginning of the 2008 Sculpture Key West exhibition. (Photo by Rob O'Neal/Florida Keys News Bureau)

Robert Frost, for one — the renowned poet abandoned New England for a cottage on Key West’s Caroline Street each winter from 1945 to 1960.

But until a couple of years ago, though Key Westers had seen plenty of snowbirds flocking to the southernmost city to escape the northern cold, they’d never seen anything like the Loch Ness Monster.

Nessie journeyed south on a boat trailer with New York artist Cameron Gainer, who was participating in the 2008 Sculpture Key West exhibition. The annual juried exhibition features work in many types of traditional and experimental media, displayed beside the island’s Civil War-era forts and public gardens — and in several other “surprise” locations around Key West.

Nessie, who turned out to be quite a surprise indeed, was destined for a winter home in a local pond at the entrance to Key West’s picturesque Old Town. But installing the 12-foot by 12.5-foot foam-and-fiberglass monster in the pond was no easy task.

Nessie isn't the only sculpted creature to visit Key West during the annual Sculpture Key West display. Here, artist Doug Makemson introduces "Henry," a nine-foot steel dog that starred in a previous exhibition. (Photo courtesy of Sculpture Key West)

Cameron was inspired to create Nessie by a 1934 photo that supposedly showed its humped back and long curving neck rising out of Scotland’s Loch Ness. To settle the monster in its warm-water winter home, he donned a wetsuit and jumped into the pond to guide the installation.

A Bobcat tractor, a small floating platform and a thick rope “leash” were required in the effort, which drew double-takes and laughter from passing drivers.

For the rest of that winter, much to the delight of absurdity-loving locals, Nessie startled unsuspecting passersby as they entered the historic Old Town district.

The 2010 Sculpture Key West exhibition doesn’t feature any legendary monsters — but that’s perfectly okay, because it includes plenty of other intriguing examples of artistry.

A sailboat is framed by the wood sculpture "Forest of Souls" on display at Sculpture Key West 2010. The wooden hoop by artist Jonathan Schork is composed of buttonwood, Brazilian pepper and Australian pine branches. (Photo by Rob O'Neal/Florida Keys News Bureau)

Thirty-some artists hailing from Paris, Berlin and 11 American states are showcasing their work in three venues at this year’s exhibition: the waterfront grounds of Fort Zachary Taylor Historic State Park, the tranquil and inspiring home of the Key West Garden Club at West Martello Tower, and the Key West Tropical Forest & Botanical Garden near the entrance to Key West.

Favorite sculptures include an 18-foot-tall wooden hoop-shaped memorial, a commentary on consumerism crafted out of recycled plastic bags, and an interactive “musical chairs” installation made (believe it or not) from discarded brass instruments that people can actually play.

At all three locations, the sculptures will remain on display through April 16.

Take a tip from a longtime Keys local who’s seen many previous Sculpture Key West exhibitions — Nessie might not be lurking around, but even so this is a “monstrously” good show. If you’re in the Keys, don’t miss it!

Stone crabs are most abundant in the Florida Keys, and considered a seafood delicacy. (Photo by Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)

They’re stone crab claws, offering sweet and scrumptious meat that’s among the Florida Keys’ most popular (and deservedly famous) delicacies. Since the stone crab season began Oct. 15, these savory claws have appeared prominently on the menus of top Keys restaurants — triggering a virtual stampede of savvy seafood aficionados.

Typically the claws are satisfyingly large, closer in size to a two-pound Maine lobster’s claws than a blue crab’s claws. Their commercial harvest dates back to the 1930s in Keys inshore waters, and the hard ocean floor and favorable environment support healthy local crab populations.

Stone crabs have the ability to regenerate their claws, making them a renewable resource. Fishermen generally pull the larger of the two claws and return the crab to its natural environment.

The claws are usually cooked immediately after being brought to the dock, by placing them in boiling water and then bringing the water back to a boil. Total cooking time is about 7 or 8 minutes.

Bennett Orr of Keys Fisheries plucks stone crabs out of a trap. (Photo by Andy Newman/Florida Keys News Bureau)

What’s the secret to cracking the smooth, hard shell of the claw to get at the meat inside? Forget those squeeze-together shell crackers. Instead, gently smack the shell with the back of a spoon, and it will crack cleanly.

The traditional dip for stone crab claws is made from mustard (choose your favorite) with mayonnaise or sour cream, plus extras like Worcestershire or A-1 sauce and salt and pepper to taste.

One of the best spots in the Keys to savor stone crab is Keys Fisheries, located in Marathon. You’ll find the super-casual eatery in an industrial region off the Overseas Highway, nestled right beside the waterfront, surrounded by commercial docks and mountains of crab traps.

A favorite of locals in the know, the establishment has a funky atmosphere that communicates the essence of the island chain’s laidback style. Guests sit at wooden picnic tables on an outdoor patio facing the Gulf of Mexico. Décor includes fishing nets and nautical art, and the stone crab claws have that fresh-off-the-boat flavor that can’t be surpassed.

Stone crab claws are a sought-after delicacy at the Original Marathon Seafood Festival. (Photo by Rob O'Neal, Florida Keys News Bureau)

Stone crabs are prized so highly in the Keys that they star in several food festivals — like the Key Largo Stone Crab & Seafood Festival at the end of January. Organizers report that this yummy event is chock full of fresh stone crabs, conch, local seafood, music, entertainment and fun for the entire family.

The Original Marathon Seafood Festival is so popular that some dedicated diners even plan their Middle Keys vacations around it. For more than three decades, local fishermen and their families have prepared stone crab claws and other fresh indigenous seafood for thousands of attendees who flock to the March event. Not surprisingly, it has become a beloved Keys tradition.

Happily for those of us who crave the tasty claws, the stone crab season continues each year through May 15. So head for your favorite Keys seafood emporium … and “get cracking” on a plateful.